What She Meant
by Seta Suzume
Summary: Naphtali tries to read between the lines.


A remix of "Lilin's Note" by Quicksilver_ink for Remix Madness 2014.

There were certain tasks Naphtali tended to every day aboard the _Dauntless_, barring some great emergency. Most of them he had chosen to take on more or less for himself, but he considered them no less vital as a result of their self-appointed nature. It restored a measure of normalcy to Naphtali's life to allot himself activities. He was accustomed to daily work and routine- whether with Gaien's knights or in the Vingerhut home. Reading whatever notes were put in the comment box and considering their contents was one of the smaller tasks, and one that he tended to on his own, but still drew occasional interest from some of his shipmates.

Rakgi, for instance, who saw Naphtali walking by toward the stairs and hurried along on his short legs to match Naphtali's pace. "Are you going to check for letters?" the boy asked.

"Mmm-hmm," Naphtali nodded. It was nearly as routine that Rakgi would accompany him to the comment box as it was that he would be going there at this time. Rakgi was always very polite about not prying into any information about the notes- either their contents or their senders- but he did enjoy coming along and counting the number of letters their leader received. He remarked upon things like how their quantity had gradually grown and how he hoped that meant Naphtali was getting popular and not that there were just more things around the _Dauntless_ to complain about. After separating the box and the letters like so, they would part at Naphtali's door. Naphtali imagined this was something like having a particularly well-behaved younger brother.

Naphtali opened up the box.

"Oh, there's only one." Rakgi seemed a little disappointed. "Slow day, I guess."

"Maybe tomorrow," Naphtali said for Rakgi's benefit. It didn't bother him if there was only new letter. It could still spell out plenty of work for him. Or, on the other hand, it could be a break, because not all the letters required a response.

"See you later, Naphtali," Rakgi waved goodbye.

Naphtali took the letter into his room and closed the door. There were three words on the sheet of paper.

_Lilin_

_ Letter_

_ Hard._

Her letters reminded him of waves, the way they flowed, though perhaps on that final words, "Hard," that was more because the ink hadn't been left to dry properly before the page had been folded. But the gently waving lines of "Lilin," which were not smudged, also had something in them of the motion of the tide on the sand.

It occurred to him that he had never considered before now whether it was common for merfolk to write the language of the islands. Just because Lilin could speak their tongue shouldn't have been taken as an automatic sign of this. She spoke the local language more like a second tongue than a first, and even the ability to converse in a language shouldn't immediately imply that one could write it. Paper and ink would be of no use underwater.

But somehow Lilin knew and had gone to the trouble.

"Hard." What was bothering Lilin?

If it were something serious, Naphtali hoped she would come to him directly, but it was possible she was a bit shy- not that he could blame her. It was her first time living among humans (and elves and nay-kobolds, for that matter) and, at the same time, it was also the first time most humans had lived with her kind. There was bound to be some awkwardness.

But Lilin was…well, she was sweet. She wasn't going to stir up any trouble (like Brec and Jango's…unique…scent had already managed to do) and she wasn't going to fan the flames of any that someone else started (like pretty much all of the pirates, aside from Kika, with their overly hot tempers).

It wasn't specifically Naphtali's responsibility to look out for Lilin more than any of the other people onboard, but he was only human. Some people were more to his liking than others.

He decided to do a little reconnaissance regarding the matter. Maybe he could figure out what was bothering Lilin and fix the problem without even talking to her about it. She was a bit shy and the extreme shortness of her letter might convey some degree of embarrassment in bringing the details of the matter to his attention.

Conversations over dinner with Rikie and Rakgi, Keneth, and Louise (who purported to know about most things that went on aboard the _Dauntless_), among others, all offered no clues as to what might be the matter with Lilin.

Naphtali didn't happen to notice her around in the course of the evening anywhere, but the greater the number of people who came to live and work aboard the ship, the less likely he was to see any given person on a daily basis without one or the other of them doing the work of specially seeking their comrade out. Lilin was still on his mind when he went to sleep and he continued to follow up on the matter the following day.

The only person who claimed to have seen her acting at all unusually was Cedric, who had spoken with her while she was in the middle of writing the letter, but aside from his vague assessment of Lilin's overall demeanor at the time as "agitated," he really didn't have anything helpful to add.

"She didn't want any help with the letter, even though it was taking her a while," Cedric submitted.

Naphtali thanked him for the information and continued puzzling over the inquiry on his own. Whatever this "hard" thing was, it just wasn't coming to him. Naphtali would have to go straight to the source.

Having already used up his first few free moments of the day on his quest, it took a while for Naphtali to finally find the opportunity to go down to the bilge to speak with Lilin about her potential problem and be sure he wouldn't be suddenly interrupted and dragged off on some other errand.

It was getting a bit late in the day, but her store was still open.

"Hey, Lilin," Naphtali stood in the doorway of the accessory shop, "Can I come in?"

"…Yes," she murmured. Lilin was still feeling a bit withdrawn as a result of her difficulties with the letter she had sent Naphtali the other day, but it wasn't like she could just avoid Naphtali forever. He was the boss of this ship. And he was her friend- at least she hoped. And that would be just too sad. This was a shop. During shop hours, if she left the door open and had the sign Rikie had helped her paint turned to "open," people were meant to feel free to come in and look at her pearls and kelp necklaces. If she had been too upset to face Naphtali, she wouldn't have opened the shop, but it was still nice that he asked.

Naphtali accepted her invitation and approached the counter, his gaze momentarily distracted by something he saw within the case, before he broached the subject of his visit, "I read the letter you left me yesterday. I got the impression that there might be some kind of problem."

He spoke in a slow, calm manner, but he didn't seem to choose different words when addressing Lilin than he would've used in conversation with anyone else around the ship.

"Last night and again today, I asked around about you to see if anyone had seen you having trouble or if someone had been giving you a hard time. No one I talked to had anything to say except Cedric, who told me you seemed upset when you left that letter for me." A sort of funny look crossed his face. "It occurred to me that maybe I was the problem?"

Naphtali, the problem? Lilin's mouth began to open as she considered this, but before she could rebut this statement, the pieces fell into place regarding his tone and words and posture and she understood that Naphtali didn't mean this entirely seriously. He was…"joking." That was what they called it. She was supposed to smile.

Lilin pressed her lips back together.

Sometimes people joked when they were scared though, not just because they were happy.

"I guess what I mean is- if there's anything wrong, anything at all, you can come to me about it anytime, Lilin. Even if I'm the one doing something wrong, I want you to feel like you can tell me about it. I don't want there to be any problems between us if I can help it."

"Oh…" Lilin realized. Naphtali had done all these things because he was concerned about her. He had interpreted "hard," as more than a statement of fact- of the difficulty of putting all the thoughts and feelings she wanted to convey to him into human words, on paper no less. That "hard" wasn't something she would have to struggle with in one way or another each day that she lived among humans, but one or two specific things that he could change for her. A problem to solve, rather than a situation to live with.

But the world of humans was vast, like the sea, and just as impossible to know completely. It was best to find some way to move with its various currents, rather than against them.

Naphtali was looking at her patiently with his nice ocean-eyes. He was waiting, Lilin realized. She had trailed off without explaining herself, drifting away among her own thoughts. But Naphtali didn't pester her to speak up. He was much better at being silent than most of the other humans she had met.

"Writing," Lilin said. "Writing is hard."

"Oh," Naphtali replied. Simple as that. It was hard for Lilin to write to him. "Well, thank you. Thank you for writing anyway."

"I…" Speaking to Naphtali certainly wasn't as hard as writing to him, but it wasn't exactly as easy as she would've liked either. Lilin struggled with her thoughts. "Rikie taught me."

"Is that so? I wondered about it. I'm impressed then!"

Although that was exactly what she had hoped to hear, Lilin still felt her face growing warm with embarrassment. Having Naphtali actually here complimenting her hard work was a bit different from simply imagining it.

"It took me a lot longer to go from learning to the alphabet to being able to write even as much as you did," Naphtali went on, smiling, "You're a really fast learner, Lilin."

"Thank you," she said again. …But here Naphtali was, saying such wonderful things to her when this had all started because Lilin wanted to say that very thing to him. "Naphtali," she launched uncertainly into this thought, "I wrote because thank you. I want to. To thank you."

"Well, you're welcome, Lilin."

"Naphtali does many things for me… I… So I trying. Working hard on letters. Working hard in my shop."

Naphtali nodded thoughtfully, that kind smile never leaving his face. "Yes, I can tell. And I'm happy to see you so dedicated to your tasks- as long as you make sure to take some breaks to relax every so often. Times might be a bit rough these days, but life isn't all about working."

Her hand was sitting on the shop counter. Naphtali, moving very slowly, reached toward it. There would have been plenty of time to say "no" or pull back, but Lilin let him rest Naphtali rest his hand there softly on top of hers. The fabric of his glove was a little rough, but his calloused fingers were warm.

"Always do," she assured him, "I have to swim."

"Uh-huh."

"Naphtali…want to swim with me?" Lilin asked. The sun might be going down by now, but the ocean would still be nearly as warm as Naphtali's gentle hand.

Naphtali beamed, "Sure, Lilin."


End file.
